cuddyclothes: (House Wilson)
This will be old news to most House fans, but here are beach scenes that were shot from the House premiere "Now What?" that never aired.

I don't want to put them in Photobucket, so they aren't appearing here.

You can find them at my LJ here.
cuddyclothes: (Farting Unicorn)
I asked the wonderful writers out there in House fanfic land to pick their own favorite fics that they have written themselves.  All sorts of pairing and fics are here.  What wonderful authors, what great fics!!  LJ is freaking out at the length of this list, so this is Part One. Browse the list and enjoy!  This list is non-curated.


Fics for every taste! )
cuddyclothes: (Fletcher)
The response has been fantastic!  A flood of fics, and I am busily putting together a massive list.

Here's the problem: 80% is House/Wilson.

I NEED OTHER PAIRINGS!  13/Anybody, Chase/Anybody, Foreman/Anybody, Taub/Uh...no.  In fact ANYBODY BUT H/W!  OT3 fics are also encouraged!

Also, fics with no pairings whatsover are more than welcome.

I know most of my f-list are House/Wilsoneers, but we need variety! If you've already rec'd yourself, please don't rec anymore, okay?  And please don't rec someone else. (Send them a PM to rec themselves.)

Start rec'ing yourself!

Also, please not more than two fics.  Otherwise I have to select them, which sort of defeats the whole purpose.

ALSO, for the artists and vidders, REC YOUR FAVORITE ART OR VID.

PLEASE REC HERE SO I CAN KEEP TRACK!

ETA: THIS LIST IS NOW CLOSED.  THANKS FOR ALL OF THE SUBMISSIONS!
cuddyclothes: (Default)
Title: To Be Determined
Authors: [info]flywoman , [info]jezziejay , [info]cuddyclothes , [info]pgrabia ...
Rating: PG-13 so far
Summary: In which Wilson is forced into a Santa suit and overdoes it on the eggnog at the annual PPTH holiday party, House attempts to take him home, and hijinks ensue.
Notes: Written for Sick!Wilson Fest holiday prompt #1: "I would love some to read some 'Wilson gets drunk and injured' fics (since we know he has a history of bad things happening to him while drunk). For an added holiday touch, he could be drunk on spiked eggnog. Extra cookies if House was responsible for the spiking. :)" The complete story is to be posted to sick_wilson_fest between Dec. 18 and Dec. 25.

Part 1 ("'Zat you, Santa Claus?") by [info]flywoman 
Part 2 by [info]jezziejay 
Part 3 ("Santa gets himself a ho-ho-ho") by [info]cuddyclothes 
Part 4 ("I saw Greg House kissing Santa Claus") by [info]pgrabia
Part 5 ("Sleigh bells ringing") by [info]flywoman 
Part 6 by [info]jezziejay 


All I Want For Christmas Is You )
cuddyclothes: (Marilyn)
author: cuddyclothes
genre: angst, fluff
rating: PG
A/N Needed to write this instead of ranting.

"Good for you. " Wilson smiled sadly, and left.

There was a moment of silence.  House thought to himself, I just threw out my best friend for a woman who's made me miserable ever since we hooked up?  What is wrong with me?

"What is wrong with you, House?" yelled Wilson, storming back into the apartment.  He glared at House.  "I don't believe you!  I put up with your shit for years, you come crying to me every time you get a boo-boo," Wilson threw up his hands.  "Then, I come to you with a real moment of heartbreak--"

"Oh come on, Wilson, the worst you could call it is heartbent."

"Semantics!" Wilson dropped onto House's couch and folded his arms.  "The fact is, I needed you tonight, and you told me to get lost!  For Cuddy, for God's sake!  You don't get pussy for a week and you cave?  Again?  How about calling her and, oh, I don't know, saying you have a friend in crisis, could she perhaps come an hour later??  Get me a beer, Mr. Castrati."

"God, first Cuddy, now you.  Wilson, you're being as much of a diva as she is." House handed him a beer.   "Maybe I should to lie to you. Make you go away for a week."

 "Please.  If I had a dollar for every time you lied to me, I'd have all of the money you owe me.  Jesus, House.  I loved Sam."

House grinned.  "You're already talking about her in the past tense, Wilson.  Now I can tell you she looked like a manatee." He lifted his beer.  "To love.  It sucks. "

"It sucks." Wilson lifted his beer in answer.  "You wouldn't leave me over a stupid argument about nothing."

 "And you wouldn't withhold sex if I lied to you and didn't apologize."

Wilson sighed.   "If I did, we'd never have sex."  He looked up at House.   "Come on, be a friend.  Tell her to come over later."

"Why?"  There was suspicion in House's tone, but he smiled.

 "You have a heartbroken friend who needs consoling.  A shoulder to cry on.  Someone to lean on.  Someone to undress.  Someone to...well..." He paused.   "Said friend wouldn't withhold sex.  In fact, said friend needs to have his heartbreak diverted by sex." Wilson reached out and hooked a finger into House's waistband.  He gave House a seductive smile.  "My heart is broken, after all."

House slowly slid down onto the couch next to Wilson and put his arm around his friend's shoulders.  "Yeah, I can feel it," he said, unbuttoning one button of Wilson's shirt to slide his hand in over Wilson's chest.  Wilson shivered with pleasure. "Nice big heart you've got there."

"It's not the only thing that's big," Wilson said, reaching over and gently rubbing the crotch of House's tuxedo pants. "You looked so hot tonight, you know that, don't you?"

"Ooooh, yeah... gimme a minute." House grabbed his cell phone with his free hand and punched a button with his thumb.

"Hi," he said tenderly.  "I'm really sorry, but something's come--up--and I need to make it ten o' clock, okay?" House listened.  "Oh, well, if that's too late, maybe we should wait until tomorrow."

Wilson slowly kissed down House's neck.  House pulled away, giving Wilson a warning glance.  "I know, but it's not a good time. Oops!  My pager! I think Masters hit puberty!  Gotta go! See you in the morning!"

The cell phone dropped from his hand.   "Who's being diverted now?" House's head lolled back against the couch.  He winced as Wilson continued to rub his groin.   "Jesus, Wilson, if I'd stayed on the phone, I'd start making squealing noises.  Which might tip her off."

Wilson smiled.  "Who cares?"

House pulled Wilson's face toward his gently and kissed him.   "She'll never know.  It's just a little white lie."

cuddyclothes: (Snow Bird)

Genre: fluff
Word count: 1600
Summary:  House is annoyed by Wilson's latest obsession. Another silly Hilson story.



 

Read more... )
cuddyclothes: (Default)

This epic fic is truly epic.  Warnings for bad stuff, and it's kinda slashy.

This is my homage to the many creative minds in the fic community.


Greggy threw up on Wilson, who flew into a rage and tossed the toddler on to the leather sofa. "You-you BASTARD! That was a Christian Dior silk tie!" )
cuddyclothes: (Default)

Okay, I'm a Hilson/Huddy shipper.  Hilson more on the fantasy side, Huddy more on the actual television show side.  But tonight, after a massively wonderful episode, the last five minutes
SUCKED HARDER THAN A STARVING WARTHOG AT IT'S MOTHER'S TEAT!

PLEASE. 
She saves House from fucking VICODIN?  She has a last-last-last-last minute change of heart and says   "I love you "?????????


THIS WAS THE CHEESIEST FIVE MINUTES OF TV I HAVE SEEN SINCE I WAS A KID!

It absolutely ruined what for me was a great episode.  And damn, now I have Vicodin blueballs!!!

Excuse me:

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT MOTHERFUCKING FUCK SO OOC FUCK FUCK HOW LAME WAS THAT FUCK FUCK FUCK

ETA:  It is official: Kate Jacobs says that the relationship is indeed canon.  If only it had happened in a remotely realistic way.
cuddyclothes: (Default)


 

Sorry if the image made the text too small to read...Cuddy is thinking, '"It would be a lot more fun if he'd brush his teeth once in a while."

cuddyclothes: (Default)

HOUSE AND CUDDY: A LOVE STORY WITH BACON
Because everything is better with bacon!

One fateful day, Cuddy couldn't help noticing (and wanting) House's huge pizza bacon burger sandwich.



Cuddy: "That is amazing. It would give heart attacks to the entire cardiac unit."

House: "I bet you never knew I had so much meat, Cuddy."

Cuddy: "Charming."

But it was true. She couldn't stop thinking about House, or the bacon, or how juicy both House and his sandwich looked. But how to get House to jump her without arousing his suspicions? She only wanted to arouse House.

House's meat continued to haunt her...so she asked him to help her with a terrible rash, which could only be cured by being "rubbed with bacon grease."

House thought it was kind of weird. Even he had never heard of such a rash. And he knew every single disease in the universe and beyond! But hey, he could get a look at Cuddy's ass.  So he brought a big wad of raw bacon to her office and rubbed away. It's a toss-up as to which one enjoyed it more.



Now Cuddy's *ss was haunting House's thoughts. Not knowing that Cuddy was coveting his meat, House went to Wilson for advice.

Wilson: "Do you want a relationship or to get into her panties?"

House: "Either one will do. Short-term, panties."

Wilson: "You need to make a romantic gesture, House. And don't give her a sweater. That's what I gave my third wife for Christmas, and we all know how that turned out."

So, House thought long and hard about a suitable romantic gesture. Then he had an epiphany. She'd asked to be rubbed down with bacon grease. That meant that somehow, deep in her cerebral cortex, Cuddy knew she needed bacon. STAT!

The next day, he presented Cuddy with a huge bouquet of the good stuff! From the deep South, no less!



But remembering that he'd hallucinated a night of passion with her just months before, House started wondering if this was even real. He could smell Cuddy's perfume, he could smell the bacon, but what was real and what was not? What was the meaning of life? Why was 13 coming back to the show and Cameron leaving? What if Wilson threw him out? Maybe this wasn't happening at all, he was sitting in his office playing with his giant tennis ball...

It proved too much for House, and he collapsed.

House came to with Cuddy tenderly holding a piece of bacon to revive him, while Wilson watched jealously.



Wilson (thought): "House never gave me a bacon bouquet. Just a dumb brisket corsage. And that was when he was drunk."

Cuddy: "House, are you all right?"

House: "What--what happened to the bacon?"

Cuddy: "While you were unconscious, I ran to the staff lounge and put it in the refrigerator. I--I couldn't risk letting it spoil."

House: "Bacon doesn't spoil, Cuddy. If you weren't Jewish you'd know that."

Cuddy: (wishing Wilson would stop glaring at them and get of there already) "House--House, this isn't easy for me to say. Wilson, could you excuse us?"

Wilson: "Just until I know that House is okay."

Cuddy: (with a look at Wilson) "House, I want you to teach me about bacon. In fact, I want you to be my meat guide, to show me the wonders of being a true carnivore. I know it's going to feel so good."

House: "We'd better get out of here and get that bouquet, before Chase eats it."

And so, that night, Cuddy and House shared their bacon...and oh, so much more.



And they lived happily ever (or at least for about two weeks)...

BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS BETTER WITH BACON! EVEN HUDDY!

 

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