cuddyclothes: (Default)
Title: Jeeves and the Hardboiled Eggs
Fandom: Jeeves & Wooster (books)
Characters: R. Jeeves, Bertie Wooster
Rating: R
Genre: Humor
Word count: 3173
Disclaimer: Fuck, no.

Summary: Bertie makes a wager. And the word "balls" gets used a great deal.


http://archiveofourown.org/works/11943633



As most of you know, I've been shipping my own characters. To make it easier on myself, I went to the source material, and this is the result.
cuddyclothes: (Default)


Fandom: Swiss Army Man
Title: Sex Lessons From Sarah, Part One
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Manny, Hank
Word Count: 1,489
Genres: Humor, Smut, Crossdressing (sorta), Angst


Summary: Now that Hank and Manny are on their own, Manny wants to have sex. But is it okay for guys to kiss? Hank freaks out. So Manny talks to "Sarah".

"Sarah, do you like chocolate?"

At AO3
cuddyclothes: (Dean Sam OMGYAY)
Characters: Jodie, Donna
Rating: G
Challenge/Prompt: spn_bigpretzel DEW: Jodie + Jobs and Work
Word Count: 100
Summary:  Dialogue fic
Author's note:  I so wanted to have a title based on "It's Hard Out There For A Pimp".  Dang!!

“Hello?”

“Jodes, we gotta a situation on our hands.”

"...which one?”

“Both. They’ve been carryin’ on like wet cats for the last hour. Ya gotta do somethin’ for me.”

“Donna, I’m on the job. I can’t take a break.”

“JODES!”

“All right, what?”

“You gotta get to Hot Topical and get a Rhianna t-shirt. Alex wore Claire’s t-shirt, went out with that guy in her science class and now it’s all muddy.”

“WHAT?”

“I’m too busy trying to get the story outta Alex and keepin’ Claire from killin’ her, Jodes.”

“Okay, Donna.”

“You’re an angel.”

Don’t call me that!

“Sorry.”
cuddyclothes: (Laughing Shoes)
JP Sears is hilarious.  This is completely incoherent!  "A punk passing" - this is your false self.

cuddyclothes: (Cas Complex)
I don't know if I've posted this or not; I came across it in my SPN Word file

Title: In A World
Word Count: 100
Genre: Silliness

(LIGHTNING, THUNDER, BARELY SEEN MONSTERS)
(DEEP VOICE)
In a world where nothing is what it seems, where chaos rules, where staying alive is the only thing that matters:

You won’t find Bobby Singer.

(SHOT OF BOBBY DRINKING AS HE PORES OVER A BOOK)

He’s alone. With his books. His booze. And the answers. But even in a drunken stupor, he is the man who is going to save the Earth, because Bobby Singer IS

(CLOSE SHOT OF ANSWERING THE PHONE, PANNING UP TO BOBBY’S FACE)

“I told you, it’s a brass blade, not copper!”
(HANGS UP)

“Idjit”

The Lore Whisperer.
cuddyclothes: (Bear)
TPURIFY YOUR SYSTEM
WITH THE SEVEN-DAY
CHILI DOG CLEANSE.

(This is a joke, folks)

BY DJANGO GOLD

- - - -Juice fasts, raw foods cleansing, water-only detox — you’ve probably tried them all by now. Fads like these promise to leave you feeling rejuvenated, but their effectiveness is uncertain at best. That’s why more and more nutritionists swear by a proven, deceptively simple approach to wellness: a seven-day-long dietary cleanse in which you eat nothing but chili dogs.

Yes, you can flush your body of years’ worth of accumulated toxins, simply by consuming between eight and twelve chili dogs every day for a week. Through this uniquely formulated system, stronger immune protections, clearer skin, and quicker neural pathways can be within your reach; all thanks to the nourishing, invigorating, purifying power of several pounds of chili dogs — Nature’s Perfect Food.

Your Schedule
The beauty of The Chili Dog Cleanse lies in its ease: Maintain a steady stream of chili-laden frankfurters into your digestive tract, and you’ll receive all of the saturated fats, nitrites, hot dog casings, and other vitamins and minerals needed to revitalize your system. As for the type of chili dogs you methodically shovel into your mouth, that’s entirely up to you. Charbroiled footlongs drowning in heaping scoops of roadhouse steak chili, red hots doused with homestyle, 7-Eleven Big Bites paired with Campbell’s Chunky; as long as you’re consuming approximately one chili dog every 75 minutes, you will see results.

By the third day of the cleanse, some individuals report feelings of nausea, heart tremors, and spatial disorientation. Don’t worry. That’s just your body adjusting to the unusually robust levels of sodium, salt, and other detox agents contained in the cleanse. You have to remember that your body has built up substantial levels of contaminants through years of improper dietary habits. Eating chili dogs will fix all of that.

And make sure to fortify your system with several chili dogs before going to bed. When undergoing the cleanse, you can expect to sleep anywhere from 12 to 16 hours per day, not including post-dog naps; you don’t want to have to keep waking up in the middle of the night to microwave a few hot dogs and a can or two of Hormel. Don’t forget the sour cream!

The Science
The science behind the seven-day chili dog cleanse is irrefutable.

Safety
As with any radical dietary change, the question inevitably arises: “Is The Chili Dog Cleanse perfectly safe in 100% of cases?” The answer, of course, is yes. In fact, despite misleading FDA labels, you’ll find that The Chili Dog Cleanse perfectly conforms to the nutritional requirements of the average 8,500 calorie per day diet.

Nonetheless, it is worth noting that your system will likely feel a bit of a jolt as your body is purged of its accumulated impurities. And given that your week-long chili dog diet includes no vegetables or fruits whatsoever, feel free to cheat a little by supplementing your intake with jalapeños and Red Vines as needed.

It may be difficult, but remember that you are doing this for the benefit of your body and mind. And at an average ingredients cost of just $6 per day, there’s no excuse not to start your cleanse right now. So get moving, mix some cut-up bratwurst into the chili, and remember: A healthier, happier life is only dozens and dozens of chili dogs away!
cuddyclothes: (Beach Jared)
Yesterday two of us got very, very silly on Twitter and created a Supernatural/Galavant crossover with Cain as King Cain.  You can guess the rest...

https://storify.com/madfashionista/supernatural-galavant-crossover
cuddyclothes: (Marilyn)
In which we start with the personal digs during our discussion.  And there's the discussion itself, of course.

You see view it here: The House Dialogues


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