So, I’ve been watching Victor Frankenstein, and I have to say, it stinks. Both James MacAvoy and Daniel Radcliffe do their damndest to bring the story to life. But not only have we seen this before, we have to wait for a hellishly long time for the monster. Which then explodes in a series of blinding flashes and complete nonsense. At the end the movie sets itself up for a sequel. Since it flopped, I doubt one is forthcoming.
( Shouting in the rain and spiffy clothes )
( Dammit, Mark Pellegrino needs to stick around. )
When star Jensen Ackles directs an episode, fans go into a frenzy of anticipation. "Weekend At Bobby's" was one of the best episodes of the sixth season. However, what's a director to do when he's working with a script written by Eugenie Ross-Leming and Brad Buckner? The show might as well tied a rock around Ackles's neck and tossed him into the bay. The episode is well done and there are some nice moments, but you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's anus.( In which Jensen pranks Misha. It's the only explanation. )
When last we saw our heroes, Sam was locked in a closet with a monster virus and Dean was driving Teen Sheriff and Killer Baby to Teen Sheriff's grandma's house. Lying to each other about how everything's fine.
What they don't know is that Killer Baby eats souls and then grows older, like the Amazon teenager in Season 9, was it? And possesses cute little girls.
"A new leader for Azazel 's demon army has risen in the west. Her name is Lilith."
Oh shit, wrong season. Doesn't matter, Amara does the same crap.
Note to self: don't watch the good episodes of Season 4 before writing one of these.
Sam captures another rabid guy with an elaborate trap and tasers him. Why he didn't simply wait behind the dumpster is beyond me, but it's still pretty cool.
Sam takes him to the hospital and chains him up. When rabid guy demands food, Sam tosses him pudding. Buh? Pudding? Why wouldn't the guy demand blood and guts? Rabid guy embarrasses himself by eating the pudding in a rabid way with his fingers.
Sam is apparently doomed to eating hospital food with his bare hands. Watch out fish sticks, nobody is safe!!
By far the best part of this mess is Sam being smart. Why does he go back to the hospital exactly? Oh, to get the touching scene we've seen in the previews of Sam praying. Go nuts in the comments, the best parts in "Form And Void" involved Sam being proactive rather than standing around gulping. Dean has the less interesting part, although Jensen Ackles does his best. He's mostly given reactions to situations, which is frustrating. Let the guy do what he does best.
"This is the most relaxing episode I've had in years."
Although he definitely gets the best lines including his description of The Darkness: “Who knows what was in that giant, crazy fart.” Hee!
Amarra the Soul Eating Baby From Beyond Hell goes full The Exorcist, placing blocks in the wall that say "Feed Me".
Thought this shot was more interesting.
Teen Sheriff calls Dean to come back. Grandma calls in a priest: Father Crowley. Again, revealed in the promo. When he and Dean recognize each other, Crowley remarks, "Dean was a rather scrumptious young altar boy." Oh yeah, I bet he was.
Dean has flashbacks to being caught without his robe
Crowley's shown up to check out Amara: “We have no idea what ancient, world-shattering evil we’re dealing with, but go right ahead, let him know we’re coming.” He and Dean have a cosy chat. Nice going, King of Hell, we thought you were all evil again, but here you are being Dean's bestie.
Teen Sheriff's soul has been eating by Killer Baby from Beyond Hell. So she's killed Grandma and is now breaking her china collection. Remember how much fun Sam was without a soul? Not a senseless killer, but smart. Somehow whoever steals souls on this show, whether it's Baby From Beyond Hell or Abbadon, the victims turn into killers without higher reasoning skills. Whatever. Crowley kills Teen Sheriff.
Then Crowley claims he's no longer Dean's sidekick. All he does is throw Dean into a closet and vanish. Oh Crowley, ye of little threat.
Meanwhile in the hospital, Sam has a vision, which of course involves blood and screaming. He finds Billie, a reaper who from some reason is the new Boss.
"I'm here so the fans quit bitching about the whiteness of the cast."
She says, "You are unclean in the Biblical sense."
UNCLEAN IN THE BIBLICAL SENSE? UNCLEAN IN THE BIBLICAL SENSE? HE'S BEEN UNCLEAN SINCE THE PILOT! HE WAS PURIFIED BY GOD. GO FUCK YOURSELVES, YOU LAZY SLOBS.
Could someone tell me what the point of torturing Cas other than to give him a plot?
Misha Collins ponders whether his residual checks from past seasons will pay for his new Mercedes.
Why is Castiel's curse so lame? He warns his brothers, but not much happens. Okay, he busts the chains off the chair while making "arf" noises, but then it's the usual angel blade fighting we've seen dozens of times. Hannah in her wonderful new body shows up, but is quickly dispatched.
Now THIS is going crazy!
Note: do NOT watch if you don't have a strong stomach!!!!
This is what Rick in "The Walking Dead" does when someone threatens his family.
Come on, Cas, tear somebody's arm off! WHAT IS THE POINT OF ALL OF THIS? Oh right, torture porn. The angels spout some dialogue we've heard about Cas and the Winchesters, dozens of times, and slash at Castiel. By the way, there is a ton of screaming in this episode along with the torture porn.
Sam is seeing blurry which means the end is coming (does anyone care what happened by rabid guy? Not me). He staggers to the nearest laptop and discovers the cure is holy oil.
Look! A horse's butt! Nice horse's butt, at that.
Does anyone remember when holy oil was, well, holy? And hard to find? No, I don't either. He roasts a marshmallow doused in the stuff, applies it to his shapely neck--Virus-Be-Gone! He traps another three
"Hello, I'll be your designated evil little girl this season."
At the end
An angel can cure himself of being shot and stabbed, but can't cure psoriasis?
Since everybody can get into the bunker now, how long before they find squatters?
How soon does Amara become a hot chick so she and Dean can bang each other?
How soon do Amara and Dean bang each other so that Sam can give Dean a lecture?
Billie The Reaper has a lovely voice.
I forgot. Rowena shows up in a blonde wig. Is she more powerful than the witch who patched together Crowley's meat suit? We'll never know.
screencaps from supernutjapan and Buddytv.com
Eugenie Ross-Leming and Brad Buckner continue their soul-destroying run of terribly written episodes with "Dark Dynasty," sloppily directed by Bob Singer.( If it looks like a duck, it's this episode )
So until an episode really grabs me or makes me stabby, I won't be doing reviews.